Kesayangan

I was lost, thinking that I never deserved happiness and punished for something I am not certain of.
Until I found you, who gave me reasons to believe in myself for who I am, who I was and who I want to be.
You complete the stories that I could not finish, you made coincidences so sweet, I cry so much with you from the laughter we had together, and smiled through obstacles I faced and I will not falter when I know you are mine.
My imperfections are your strengths, and your lackluster is my brilliance. I am so thankful to God for my prayers have been answered in the most unexpected way; I found a companion in a stranger that I have known for so long.
In time, tide and distance I want to make up for the time we have lost and build memories with you for a lifetime.
How can friendship and love that is so young, run so deep…Please let this question left unanswered for I want them to come as we learn and grow in our heaven.

1 Sentral

Today marked the first day I am at my new office, well at least a place that I can call my official office although I spend more than 3/4 of my working hours elsewhere; my clients' place. So my new office is no longer in Wisma Sime Darby as we have now shifted to KL Sentral. Well, it is not exactly near KL Sentral LRT because we still need to power walk to our building which is 10mins away.One way to keep the auditors healthy, since all we do all this while was strain our eyes, fingers and brain on our laptops.

Before I went in my friends have gave me numerous tips and sneak peeks on what to expect but most of all is the technology savvy stuff they have installed for us. First impression I had looking at the exterior of the new building was..wow, looks something out of the Matrix movies. Altough I was still being skeptical, to avoid any disappointments like I had in Sime Darby when they opened the door to our working area (imagine being thrown back to 1980's in a milisecond). So I went in and saw the morning crowd swiping cards and punching numbers on somekind of device near the elevator. Luckily I found a friend who was on her way up. So I just tagged along and watch her do the same thing, which was actually keying in the floor she was heading to while the machine flashes which elevator she should take. I am like WAH! I am impressed (skepticism chipping away).
So I went up picked up my move pack which is made of a very nice laptop back pack, mug, bottled water, guidebook, new name card and of course my own tag..hehe..so eager to go up the elevator and punch in the numbers myself. I went up the elevator with no qualms, but that was not the end of it.
I arrived at my department's floor and saw people making a bee line in front of a display screen. Again I observed but being blur me, I just went and asked around why are people looking at the screen. Apparently, we have to check in ourselves everytime we come in to work and book our desk or to make it sound cool PwC calls it "hotelling" concept. The display screen would record my check in time and inform me what are the vacant places available for me to park my stuffs, then I need to also put in my check out time. Fancy...
Apart from that, I have my own direct line now, the air cond was super freezing my b*tts off, the phone lets me screen my calls and the interior design was slick. So far so good in 1 Sentral, I hope this promises better working environment and self-motivation for my last year here. I am keeping the faith, for now...hehe

Innocence is Lost

In this blessed month of Ramadhan we are shocked by the tragic death of adik Nurin Jazlin Jazimin. I never knew her but seeing her pictures around when she was reported missing often reminded me of my little sister. I bet whenever we come across such news, we reflect on those who are dear to us.
Watching the news past few days was tough, often I find myself teary thinking what have happened to our beloved Malaysian society. I understand that there are bound to be bad apples in a society but how can somebody called Malaysian commit such a heinous, disgusting, cruel and animalistic act. I remember the few cases which really hit my nerve; Nursuzaily (raped, murdered while taking a bus ride), adik Nurul Huda (raped, murdered in a security post) and Canny Ong (raped & burned to death). It is just frightening thinking what our society has become.
We just celebrated our 50 years of independence but we still have to live in fear. At least back then we knew who were our enemies but now the so-called enemies are living among us. I do not read law but from laymen point of view, I feel the punishment of 20 years maximum and caning for rapist is so unjustified. Even if they may have not raped until causing the victim to die, in another way the culprit actually have "killed" the victim. Taking away her hope of living a normal life.
My concern goes out to all girls and ladies in Malaysia, we have to look out for ourselves, take precautions and look out for one another. My advise to guys, maybe chivalry have died but humanity is still highly relevant. Reflect upon ourselves next time we choose to ignore someone being attacked by snatch thieves, a kid sitting alone looking lost or simply, an old woman trying to cross the road. Be a true Malaysian and take action. My prayers goes out to adik Nurin and her family...may Allah bless her soul.

Ditelan mati emak, diluah mati ayah

What happens if you are standing at a crossroad where your decision cannot satisfy everyone. You follow what you believe in and hope you never have to ask yourself "What if..?". Recently, I was put on a spot where I needed to choose and no matter how I hated that feeling and was assured that I am in charge of my own life, somehow I sense that things will never be the same again.
And it did.. The silence was deafening, the look was making me feel I have greatly sinned, the confusion was nauseating and no matter how I tried to make things better it just got worse. I hope there was space for understanding but I guess it was too much to ask. Maybe I am stupid but if it is going to be a mistake it is mine to make, but I will not let it slip and never know that maybe that moment holds the key to my happiness. If separation is the only way things going to be after all that we have gone through and this is the value of something called friendship then I guess I am not entitle to it.

I did not judge you, for being who you are..
I was there for you, when people around you slipped away..
I did not leave you, when you needed company..
I tried to understand you, when things were so grey..
I was never a perfect friend but I tried my best sincerely..
No matter how things go awry, we often find our way back..
But if things have changed then with this note..I am sorry for being me

One of those days

Sleepy..
I am in client's place with statutory accounts scattered on my table for call over (or in laymen terms...proof reading). It has been raining for the past week which does not help me to wake up in the morning, often I put the alarm clock on snooze for couple of times until I finally wake up. Now I am half asleep at client's place. I wish I have one Invisibility Cloak like Harry Potter and disappear for a quick nap and dream of a one way trip to Caribbean, unlimited cash with my own McDreamy..back to punching the calculators and trying to make sense of the accounting policies (curse FRS implementation!!) hehe...

Oh, my 3sen

Have you ever thought how much 3sen really worth? I always look at those brown and thin 1sen coins with indifference. Surprisingly for me 3sen worth of coins, have made my weekend very memorable. The significance of small things have always been left unnoticed until you needed it, like paying those irritatingly RMxx.99 worth of stuffs you bought in supermarkets. And as an auditor, people would expect me being good in counting the digits. That is so wrong! So I went shopping and bought stuff worth RM273, but some how my brain has signaled for me to take out 3sen instead of RM3 to make up that RM273...makes sense? No right. Being a good customer I handed that 3sen to the cashier, she just looked at me with a blank stare stating the amount to be paid. And again, instead of listening and saving myself from further humiliation I insisted giving that 3sen to her. I must say, the service at that departmental store is quite good because she just smiled and stated the payable amount while pointing to the register display instead of being a typical Malaysian service people, who always treats you like you killed their cat.
The best part is I only realized that I was wrong when this particular person next to me was laughing. And I can see the line behind me was getting longer. Embarrassed? Of course…but I must admit I am such a blur when I am stuck in this bubble of happiness, especially for the past couple of weeks.
For the person who laughed at me, just want to say thanks for make me stop and think of that 3sen. It never crossed my mind that 3sen can buy me such a great time and made me reflect on bigger things in life. Maybe big surprises do come in small packages. The memory still makes me smile for a week and hopefully for many years to come. I think I am going to stick to my 3sen and keep it with me for quite sometime.

Love Life

Started new leaf with bigger dreams and ambitions. What cannot kill you will only make you stronger right...I have found silver linings in everything that have happened, that is what important. To my dear friends who have stayed by my side though thick and thin, indeed you are my pillars of strength. No more sad melancholy me, because Raihan is back..up and about, loud and chirpy..hehe. Achtung! This happiness maybe contagious :)

Love this song..

Kalau kau pernah takut mati, sama
Kalau kau pernah patah hati, aku juga iya
Dan seringkali sial datang dan pergi
Tanpa permisi kepadamu, suasana hati
Tak peduli
Kalau kau kejar mimpimu, selalu
Kalau kau ingin berhenti, ingat tuk mulai lagi
Tetap semangat dan teguhkan hati
Di setiap hari sampai nanti, sampai mati
Kadang memang cinta yang terbagi, kadang memang
Seringkali mimpi tak terpenuhi, seringkali
Tetap semangat dan teguhkan hati
Di setiap hari sampai nanti
Tetap melangkah dan keraskan hati
Di setiap hari sampai, sampai mati
Sampai mati