Heartbreak Hotel-Final Chapter

It has been a while when my last entry was made, for those who have read must be wondering what is wrong with me.

So what happened to me while I was sitting in my think tank. Never before, I had felt so lost in my own world. Some said I was in denial, stupid, lost my mind and all I can think of is… I want my hotel back, I just don’t think I can go on living anywhere but inside the hotel. How did I come so low, until I felt there is no longer a layer of confidence in me. No matter how it hurts that is my hotel. As for the Hotel Manager he ran the hotel as usual based on his terms. While things around the hotel shifted to accommodate his need of self improvement, the space around me felt like a big vacuum and stood still. And one by one of the pillars within me began to fall just like domino blocks. The independent, strong and sure person just fades away despite my best effort to put a brave face.

And yet time passed by and my 25th year of life comes approaching, I recollected all what is left of me and proposed once again to the Hotel Manager to have a place again in the Hotel. Despite everything that have happened, I still believed he will not disappoint me on my birthday…as it has already been silently agreed, whatever dispute happened when it comes to certain milestones of my stay in the Hotel, all will be forgotten. I guess I have totally lost that privilege, as he remained firm on running the Hotel on his own. All he can offer me is another room with the rest of the non-believing residents. That is when I realized that it is a dead end for me, the Hotel and the Hotel Manager.

In time things do change, no matter how hard you try to keep it the way it was, or strive to keep up with the tide. On my birthday, I stood by the gate of the Heartbreak Hotel and looked at how it has changed after I have left 9months ago. Maybe it is shining under a different light, but my blind eyes just refuse to see. Maybe it is spreading its wings heading a different path but I am just not strong enough to admit. Maybe it no longer needs my touch as I am a total stranger who just does not know when to leave. With heavy heart, a weak smile and glistening eyes, I walked away with a bag full of memories and heart full of hopes and dreams, leaving behind the Heartbreak Hotel and the Hotel Manager. Finally, Nur Raihan have left the building on that fated 070707.